Thursday, August 6, 2015

Confidence vs. Arrogance (And How to Deal With the Haters)

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face..."
-Eleanor Roosevelt
What do you think the difference is between Confidence and Arrogance?
Sometimes, people feel insecure about not being apologetic for their talents, passions, and having high a self esteem. They feel as if they must lower themselves for the sake of insecure people, and therefore lose the spark of confidence they once had.

Today, let's discover the difference between confidence and arrogance and how to deal with haters/insecure people!

A couple of weeks ago, I participated in a Twitter Chat  (ZusterChat: Mondays at 9pm and Thursdays at 12pm BST...if you're a blogger I highly recommend joining in sometime!) that was all about Confidence and Arrogance. After the chat, I was talking with some other bloggers who had also really enjoyed the topic and I thought, "Hey, I should share something about this subject on my blog." So, here I am!

Honestly, this is a topic I feel very strongly about because I have been through this many times and I know how hurtful it can be to have people make assumptions about you when you're truly just being yourself.

I've always been outgoing and independent. I'm confident and I love to try new things, and I work hard to better myself and my talents. Even though these are my natural  responses to life, sometimes I get discouraged by people around me. It makes me want to pull back or hide away who I am. I'm sure those of you who are also naturally confident are nodding your heads in agreement.

Well, I'm here to tell you this: STOP.

Stop allowing others to influence your feelings about yourself.

Negativity, insecurity, and jealousy spread like weeds.

This is something that I am still in the process of learning. There was a time in my life where I didn't want to have my personality anymore. I wished I could be different. And you know what? The second I began having those thoughts the insecure people began winning.

I was doubting myself all the time, and feeling very self conscious which frustrated me because that's nothing like my personality. Who wants to constantly be thinking about whether or not they are offending someone else?

So I began evaluating my motives for my passions and talents.

Why do you do what you do?

What is your reason for feeling confident?

Are you overcompensating for your lack of confidence or do you truly feel that way?

These are some of the questions I had to ask myself. Through this self discovery, I found that when someone is confident they don't feel the need to put others down. Instead, they build others up and encourage them to achieve and pursue their dreams.

Meanwhile, arrogant people find faults in others and don't really care to help them, either. They also tend to be very jealous...sometimes to the point where they don't realize it themselves.

Confident people do what they love and be themselves from their heart. Arrogant people generally have themselves in mind.

Now, this isn't always the arrogant person's fault. Everyone in this world reflects the treatment they have received from others. Hurt people hurt people.This, however does not excuse the behavior. People puff up their egos and surround themselves with people who tell them what they want to hear and when someone walks by being who they want to be so effortlessly, it can feel threatening to them.

Maybe they won't ever say something to you. Maybe they will just hide their jealousy in their hearts...if that's the case then all you can do is show love and be yourself. If you are confronted by someone, be open to privately evaluating yourself. Don't automatically assume that the person is wrong. Maybe something you've been doing isn't coming off the way you intend—that's okay. Explain to that individual what your true intent was, and after that it's on them. You are in control of you and you alone.

So—Should you stand up for yourself? If you feel you can do so in a way that represents you and your true intentions, I would say yes. Usually it only takes one time for a bully or jealous person to be set straight.

If there is one thing I'd like to leave with you it's this: Don't get discouraged. My previous encounters with situations like this made me want to quit doing what I love to do and I felt miserable because of that.

Please, don't be afraid to be yourself. Love yourself enough to be okay if someone else doesn't like you. Life will go on, and they will miss out on getting to know a truly amazing person.

What are your thoughts? Tweet me or talk to me on tumblr. I'd love to chat with you about this!


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